Thursday, 7 April 2016

I had my tubes tied for Ne-Yo, then he got another woman pregnant


Singer Ne-Yo married model Crystal Renay in February of this year. The couple welcomed a son in March.Photo: Steve Granitz/WireImage
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Monyetta Shaw and her ex-fiancé, Ne-Yo, decided she should have her tubes tied.Photo: Prince Williams/WireImage
In 2011, Monyetta Shaw underwent a sterilization procedure, having decided with her then-fiancé — Grammy-winning artist Ne-Yo — that their two children were enough. But two months before their wedding, he called it off and later started a new family with a new love — an option that Shaw now may never have. Here, the 35-year-old Shreveport, La., native and author of “Bigger Than Me” (Evan Grace Publishing, out now) tells The Post’s Tashara Jones about the biggest regret of her life and how she’s moving on.

On Oct. 9, 2011, I delivered a healthy baby boy, my second child, Mason, and I finally felt my family was complete. So before the doctors finished up in the delivery room, I told them: “I want you to burn my fallopian tubes.”

My fiancé, Shaffer Chimere Smith (better known as R&B artist Ne-Yo), was right by my side, holding my hand the entire time. The doctor must have asked us eight times if this was what we wanted. Each time, we both replied yes.

Sterilization was something Ne-Yo and I discussed thoroughly in the months leading up to the baby’s delivery. We had a daughter, Madilyn, in 2010, and two children seemed like more than enough for the both of us. Ne-Yo also agreed to undergo a vasectomy to show our mutual commitment to the relationship.

We first met in 2009 at a Jamie Foxx concert in Louisiana. He asked me out several times before I said yes — and then I fell for him fast. He had such a good heart, and that’s what attracted me to him.

The next year, I found out I was pregnant. It wasn’t a complete surprise, as we weren’t using protection, and we knew instantly that this child was a gift from God.

After starting a family, I fell more in love than ever. In 2010, during a weekend in the Dominican Republic for [rapper] Fabolous’ birthday, Ne-Yo asked me to marry him. We were in a suite, and he told everybody to be quiet. He pulled my hand, dropped down to one knee, and I immediately started crying. He incorporated the lyrics from his song “Make Me Better” and pulled out a 10-carat diamond ring.

In 2011, I found out I was pregnant with Mason.

This time, Ne-Yo wasn’t there a lot. Our home base was in Atlanta, but he spent most of his time working in Los Angeles. I told him, “Our family should be in LA with you,” but he was adamant that his family grow up in Atlanta.

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Photo: Monyetta PR
I would travel to see him sometimes, but as the pregnancy progressed I could no longer fly. But he was there for Mason’s birth, and gave me a high-five in the delivery room. Immediately after, the doctor performed the sterilization procedure. I had no regrets.

I was so busy caring for two young children, I just assumed Ne-Yo had followed through and had gotten the vasectomy. I trusted him so much that it never even crossed my mind that he hadn’t gone through with it.

But then, in June 2013 — just two months before our August wedding — Ne-Yo called.

“I don’t want to be monogamous anymore,” he told me — in other words, he wanted to break up. A week later, we had a deep conversation face to face. I was so hurt and distraught; my parents have been together for 44 years, and I always assumed our relationship would last for the rest of our lives. The thought of him and my kids not living under the same roof was devastating.

A week after our split, Ne-Yo posted the news on Instagram. It wasn’t long until VH1 producers called and asked me to join the reality show “Atlanta Exes,” which followed me along with other ex-wives of Hollywood stars, such as Tameka [Foster], Usher’s ex.

Then, in 2014, when Ne-Yo released his music video for “Money Can’t Buy,” I found out that he was dating the video’s vixen, Crystal Renay, known for posting racy photos on Instagram.
The pair are accused of beating Gabriel to death after dousing him with pepper spray, forcing him to eat his own vomit and locking him in a cabinet with a sock stuffed in his mouth to muffle his screams, according to court records. Detectives who searched the family's apartment found a wooden club covered in Gabriel's blood.

In the months before the boy was killed, several agencies had investigated allegations of abuse without removing Gabriel from the home. Shortly before Gabriel's death, officials decided to close his case.

Officials later alleged the social workers were aware that the boy had written a suicide note and had a BB pellet embedded in his chest. Yet he was not sent for medical treatment or mental health assessment, the lawyers said.

A complaint for an arrest warrant was filed against the workers on March 28, and all were scheduled for arraignment on Thursday.

Gregory Merritt was the first to arrive in court in downtown Los Angeles on Thursday morning.

Asked for his reaction to the charges against him, Merritt told a reporter, “no response.”

Boy's alleged abuse described in graphic grand jury testimony
Boy's alleged abuse described in graphic grand jury testimony
In a statement issued late Thursday morning by Los Angeles County's Department of Children and Family Services, department director Philip Browning said the accused workers did not represent the organization.

"In our rigorous reconstruction of the events surrounding Gabriel’s death, we found that four of our social workers had failed to perform their jobs. I directed that all of them be discharged. Only one appealed his termination, and he was reinstated last year by the Civil Service Commission over our strong objections," Browning said in a prepared release.

"Although I will have no specific comment on the case as it moves through the courts, I want to make it unambiguously clear that the defendants do not represent the daily work, standards or commitment of our dedicated social workers, who, like me, will not tolerate conduct that jeopardizes the well-being of children. For the vast majority of those who choose this demanding career, it is nothing short of a calling," Browning said.

In the months after the Fernandez case was first reported by The Times in 2013, social workers removed children from their families at a higher rate.

In an interview with The Times on Thursday, Browning said he had referred the social workers’ case notes to the district attorney in 2013 “to make sure we didn’t miss anything,” but he was not aware that a criminal investigation was gathering steam, and he said he was surprised when he learned that charges were filed.

"This case happened several years ago. We took quick action. put them on desk duty in about three days,” Browning said. "After a rigorous investigation, we decided they had totally failed their job. We processed them for discharge. Then the department moved on.”

Three left without a formal protest, but Merritt appealed to regain his job paying $116,000 annualy.

The five-member civil service commission — which is appointed by the county Board of Supervisors — voted unanimously to reinstate him, imposing a 30-day suspension in lieu of termination.

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According to the commission’s hearing officer, “In the final analysis [Merritt] bears some culpability for lax supervision but not to the extent to justify his discharge after nearly 24 years of unblemished service.”

Merritt’s union representative had argued that his client was used as a scapegoat and had labored under difficult circumstances in the Palmdale office, where social workers carry some of the highest caseloads in the county.

County lawyers for Browning went to Los Angeles Superior Court in hopes of overturning the civil service commission’s decision. That case is ongoing, but the judge ordered Merritt’s reinstatement until a decision is reached.

Browning said the performance of the four workers in the Fernandez was the worst he had seen in any case he reviewed since his arrival at the department in 2011.

“We made so much progress in the past few years,” Browning said. “I don’t want the morale of the department to suffer in a way that would impact services to clients.

“Safety is our priority," Browning said. "But I hope that there won’t be additional detentions because of this.  I hope that they will continue to make decisions based on the facts in front of them.”

At a press conference in Sylmar on Thursday, family and friends of Gabriel praised the arrests and decried a system they said is fraught with laziness and corruption.

“You brought this upon yourself,” Emily Carranza, the boy’s cousin, said of the social workers.

Carranza is part of an informal group of family and friends that rallied after the boy’s death, determined to hold those who killed Gabriel and those who failed to protect him accountable.

The shirt she wore showed three photos of Gabriel's smiling face.

“Your conviction will be our greatest victory,” she said.

At their arraignment on Thursday afternoon, the defendants did not enter pleas pending another hearing later this month. Superior Court Judge Sergio Tapia set bail for each of the defendants at $100,000.

Child welfare officials and prosecutors say that this is the first case in memory in which child protective case workers have been criminally charged in California over the alleged mishandling of a case.

Such prosecutions are also rare nationally, although New York prosecutors pursued criminal charges in recent years against two social workers who handled the fatal case of 4-year-old Marchella Pierce. In that case, the workers were initially charged with negligent homicide, but the case collapsed in a plea deal for lesser charges.

Both workers eventually pleaded guilty to endangering the welfare of a child, and that misdemeanor was subsequently knocked down to a violation when they completed hours of community service.

Los Angeles Times researcher Scott. J. Wilson contributed to this story.

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